Self love.. or something like that!

I am not sure if I am alone in this, I don’t think that I can be. Whenever I get into a fight with the person I am in a relationship with, I tend to go straight to trying to improve myself.

These fights sometimes make me feel like I am not worth it, not good enough. Like I complain too much or don’t say I love you enough. It makes me feel like I am too dependent on the relationship and my go-to response is to immediately start working on myself.

Now I won’t say this is a bad thing, it’s always good to work on yourself and love yourself. The only issue is only doing it when you don’t seem to get what you want from your partner. Like today I would be mad at him, planning out all these little bullshit step to better myself and creating out routines for myself to show him I don’t need his approval. Tomorrow he might turn around and say sorry and what then? What about improving myself then?

As you might have guessed, I am currently in one of those fights with my boyfriend. He doesn’t not even know we are having this fight. He thinks everything is fine (I think) but I don’t feel good enough right now. I don’t feel the want and the need. So I am in the process of making another list. Planning and doing and all of that. But this time, I am giving it a time frame. This time I will do it for me, so that next time, if this comes up again, I will know that I am not the issue. I am independent and I am worth it. Next time, well there won’t be a fucking next time.

So there are a few aspects of my life that I need to tackle to ensure that I am independent. These won’t all be relationship related. Some things might not even belong on this list. BUT I don’t give a fuck. I need to change it and I am going to change it at work on it.

So off we go.

Health!

A healthy body is a happy body. I am going to work on becoming a bit healthier. This will improve my overall energy levels, improve my skin and make me feel good. The things on my list for now is:

• Stop drinking soda!
• Stop drinking coffee…
• Take a daily walk with my dog.

I am not a very unhealthy person. I just eat what I want and when I want.. and I don’t really get much exercise. So this is a small yet necessary beginning.

Self Care

I am going work on my overall self care routine.

• Wash my face twice daily
• Wash my hair every other day
• Do my nails more ofter
• Make more of an effort with my make up

Finance

I absolutely love saving money. I love looking at my bank account an seeing a large amount of money that I know I won’t use. So I will work on saving more, so that I can have that happy feeling more often.

• I will do this by buying less snacks.
• Going from wifi to wifi thus less data costs
• I won’t eat out as much.. this only hurts the bank and the hips even more!

Okay so these are the first three aspects that I am going to work on. Why is it that whenever someone makes you feel bad you feel the desire to suddenly improve yourself. Is it because you agree with them? Or is it because you want to show them what they are missing out on?

Whatever it is, this time my self love will overcome everything… I hope..

Have any tips on how I can improve myself? Or how I can get over this urge to show him I’m okay without his helping hand? Please leave it below!

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